Ahhh 2020. It’s been a crazy year so far. I had surgery on my nose to correct a problem since birth so I could finally breathe. I crashed on my bike and got a pretty decent concussion. I had my first two relationships since divorce, both of which ended; one of which challenged me to do some major growth, the Coronavirus, the election right around the corner, and oh yeah, I managed to break my neck.
I am glad for all of those experiences. Seriously. Breathing, check. New helmet, check. More work needed on my self-worth when it comes to relationships with men, check. INCREDIBLY lucky to be walking, check.
While I’m mostly back to life as normal, my kids are still very afraid that their mom will get hurt again. People I love are worried. I have to make changes in how I recreate. I love to push the envelope a little, but I can’t be selfish. I have to step back and just have fun for a while until my children can trust that I will come home safe every time I get on my bike.
Lastly, I met an amazing man that has proven to me that when you treat YOURSELF with respect and love, you will find someone that agrees and treats you the same way. Just when I thought I was a champion of vulnerability, I’ve discovered there is still work that I need to do. That I want to do. Even if it makes me want to throw up a little. I’m all in. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
We have choices in our lives, opportunities to learn and grow. DAILY.
I have learned that in life we will ALWAYS have the good and the bad. The bad can teach us incredible lessons about ourselves. But you have to look for them. You have to be willing to use the bad to push yourself to grow. That can be uncomfortable. It’s a skill that can be developed. I have developed this skill and it has made me a much better person.
I now have an artificial disc and two screws in my neck. From the moment I saw the x-ray, it looked like a bumble bee. Bumble bees have a lot of meaning to me, they symbolize renewal, growth, and personal power. Sounds about right. I’ve got my own personal bumble bee now.
Have you been challenged this year? How do you react to those challenges? Want some help with your perspective? Sign up for a free 20 minute consultation and let’s get started!
