I heard a song and it struck me. It said “I just want to feel ok”.
I remember thinking that. A LOT. I felt lost, definitely not ok. Looking back, I felt that way most of my life. So when I was going through my divorce, it hit like a ton of bricks. I just wanted to FEEL ok.
If you think your life is in a million little pieces, like you are lost and just want to be heard, I see you.
I WAS you. I wasn’t ready for change, I told myself it wasn’t even possible. This is your life, get on with it.
It’s interesting how we can talk ourselves out of just about anything in order to not change.
But in the end, I still just wanted to feel ok. I lost my spark, my passion, my joy.
Here’s what needed to happen for me:
I needed to “not” feel ok. I needed to be in a storm for a while. I had to see just how miserable I was and that it had been going on for years. I needed to just be sad for a while.
Not get over it, not think positive, not pull myself together.
I needed to figure out why. From there, getting healthy was my primary goal.
So if you are reading this and not feeling ok, maybe that is a gift.
It’s a chance to figure out why.
To make some decisions.
To recognize that we can change.
If we want to.
And you have to want to because it’s not easy.
It’s a journey, an adventure.
Then you keep changing. And growing. And experimenting.
I still don’t feel ok from time to time.
But that is normal; life is always going to be good and bad mixed together.
I’m prepared for that now.
The greatest benefit?
When you experience the storm and fight your way to healthy, the good is just that much better.
Not feeling ok was definitely a gift for me.
I just didn’t know it at the time.
How about you?
