We think when we’ve been “wronged”, we deserve an apology.
Some validation that we are right and they are wrong.
It makes us angry every time we think about the injustice.
Judgement, bitterness, righteousness; it can fill us up.
If they would just ADMIT some fault, THEN we can move on.
But until then, we hang on to the need to be right.
Often when we are desperate for an apology, it is because we are mad at ourselves.
We were gullible, complacent, trusting, stupid, spineless.
The “how could I?” or “why did I?” questions that ignite that flame of anger.
I know this because I lived this, these are all words from my list.
I had some hatred burning in me that felt so justified.
But it also felt empty.
It caused me a lot of pain.
I couldn’t move on while stuck in anger.
I was just stuck.
Waiting.
When the anger would start to fade, sadness would creep in.
I didn’t like sadness.
Anger was so much easier.
Sadness and his sidekicks: loneliness and grief.
I started to ask myself why I needed an apology.
Would it really make me FEEL any better?
Of course it would, wouldn’t it?
Turns out, I was also angry with myself.
SO ANGRY.
For so many reasons (see above list).
An apology wasn’t going to make that better for me.
I worked through the anger and sadness, the grief and the pain.
It took some time and wasn’t easy.
I had to admit some things to myself that I wasn’t proud of.
It was all necessary to move on.
In the end, I never got an apology.
But turns out, I didn’t need it.
I gained compassion for that person.
I ended up apologizing.
It was so freeing and it cost me nothing.
I gained my life back.
Want to let go of some anger? Need help with forgiveness?
Bitterness is a lonely place to live, let me help you find your happy.
