COACHING
As I went through the process of finding out who I was and more importantly, who I could be, I knew I wanted to do something different with my life. I made a huge investment in coaching school and as I’ve mentioned, it completely changed my life. Through my coaching certification process, I started to learn about anxiety. WOW, it hit home. That pit in my stomach, that constant need to fix, appease and please was all fear based. Fear that I was inadequate, fear of the constant rejection, fear of the feelings of worthlessness. It manifested as anxiety for me.
APPREHENSION
An example is from Christmas 2018. My first Christmas divorced and without my kids. I didn’t see them Christmas Eve and my only opportunity to see them was dinner at my ex-husband’s. I became so uneasy on the drive over to his house. But now I had the tools to recognize what was going on. Why was I uneasy, what was going on? I realized that I was seeing him in his own house, separate from me and that was so STRANGE. I was going to see my kids in their “other” home. Ugh. I was going to be spending Christmas with his parents and my ex and it made me apprehensive and nervous. Ok, now I had identified all the thoughts that were causing me anxiety. Step one. Step two was just breathing into the unease. Of course I felt this way, this was uncharted territory and I was scared. But I made the choice to think, “I’ve got this, I can do hard things”.
HELP
That has been the hard work for me. When I have a thought about my worth, I recognize where it comes from and decide that it doesn’t serve me anymore. I’ve learned to ask myself, “How do you feel when you think that thought?” Usually crappy. It helped me realize that it is always the thought that is causing me pain, not what is happening in the world. I have helped my clients learn this skill and change their own lives. Teaching people to manage their anxiety and rewrite their stories brings me immense joy. I have been where my clients are and I have learned multiple skills that provide a new awareness. I teach them to stand in their own amazing light and I feel honored to do so.
BELIEVE
Day after day I make the conscious decision that I do matter. I don’t have to live in fear of rejection, I choose me regardless of anyone else in my life. I have some of the most amazing friends that point out my value and I want to believe those thoughts about myself. Sometimes I do believe. Other times, my brain tries to replay the story that I am inadequate. I’m truly a work in progress.
GROWTH
For me, growth came when I no longer cared if my ex-husband liked me. I LIKE ME. The people in my life know who I am and they accept and love me. Sometimes I’m messy and that makes me human. I’m standing in my light; good, bad and everything in between. That makes me incredibly vulnerable, but I am committed to that feeling of exposure to overcome feeling anxious. Here’s what I needed to learn: I am worthy. I always have been and I always will be. Just like everyone else.
Would you like to learn how to manage your anxiety? Realize your worth? I’ve been where you are.
I am the coach to get you there.
