Ambiguous grief. What is it? It is the grief experienced from the loss of a loved one, who is still alive, accompanied by a change or death of the relationship. It can feel like torture. As humans, we want closure. When we don’t get it, we are challenged to live with the ambiguity.
I lived in this uncertainty for a time. My brain longed for closure. So many unanswered questions that I couldn’t ask even though there was no death. It was a living hell. For me, infidelity compounded the loss. WHY? WHEN? HOW? I remember it like it was yesterday. I had to make a conscious decision to focus on what I did know, where I wanted to be, and not all the things I may never know.
We all long for certainty in our relationships. Right from the beginning as babies. We want to know our loved ones aren’t leaving us. It doesn’t always work out like that. Relationships end, whether we want them to or not.
I have felt this loss, grieved this kind of ending. More than once. You can come out on the other side. There is life after an ending. You get to decide what that life looks like. I’ve been through a few endings and with each one, I became a stronger version of myself. More committed to who I wanted to be, what and who I wanted in my life, and worked hard to get there.
After a time, closure happened. Not because my questions were answered, but because I made a choice. Live in hell or find a way to heal. I chose healing. Was it hard? Incredibly. I cried more than I think I have in my whole life. I found my tears. Has it been worth it? One hundred percent. I am now glad for those endings. They prepared me for the relationship that I have now.
Let me be clear, you don’t receive closure. You create it. It cannot be given to you, you cannot receive it. It will not come to you in the form of an apology or even validation. Closure comes from what you tell yourself, not what someone can ever tell you.
If you are waiting for it, STOP.
Life is short, time is precious. Stop wasting it.
To make money, you have to do something. To get in shape, you have to do something. To learn a new skill, you have to reach out and do something. Closure is no different. To get closure, you have to DO SOMETHING.
Sometimes we need help, a little support to guide us and show us the way. I couldn’t have done it on my own. I needed help. It takes courage to ask for it.
I can help you with the overwhelm of uncertainty. I can show you that closure is possible and what life can look like after an ending. If you are in pain, waiting to just feel better, schedule a free consultation call and let’s get started!
