STRENGTH
What does healing mean? What does it look like? For those in pain and suffering, we desperately want it, NEED it. Real healing isn’t pretty; it is hard, exhausting, and draining. It is messy. It has no timeline. Just when you think you are over it, it hits you again. Sometimes like a freight train, other times more subtle. It’s ok to fall apart even though you thought you had it under control. It is not a sign of weakness. In fact, it is a sign of strength. Allowing yourself to just feel everything takes strength. Without that integral step, you’ll never truly heal, you will just exist alongside the hurt.
CHANGE
For me, healing from my divorce was a journey. First, I had to decide that I no longer wanted to suffer. That is an important step not to be underestimated. Whether we realize it or not, we find comfort in where we are. Change is scary. What if we try and fail? What if we make the effort and it doesn’t get any better? All of these thoughts are normal, our brains are trying to protect us from more pain. Normal isn’t always healthy though. And what if the other side is so much better than we could’ve imagined? That’s how it was for me. I was suffering, hurt was my constant sidekick. I searched the internet, I sat in my car hiding from my kids and cried, I read articles, but I was still stuck. I just wanted someone to tell me how much longer it would take; 2 weeks, a month, HOW LONG? If I couldn’t heal, I certainly couldn’t help my kids find their own healing.
COACHING
As I went through the coaching process, I was able to identify and acknowledge my feelings. ALL of my feelings. Of course there was hurt and sadness, but I realized it was so much more than that. There was anger, jealousy, hate, and fear just to name a few. Humans are so complex, full of emotions that we don’t even realize. I was given the space to really see all that I was feeling without judgement and that felt so freeing. It’s ok that I feel jealous? Hate is normal? RELIEF! Once I learned to identify all of my emotions, I could see how I wasn’t processing any of them. I’ve talked about how we aren’t taught to deal with our feelings and that keeps us stuck. I learned how to process my emotions for the first time in my life and it was incredibly challenging. To really feel pain, to sit in hate, to be with yourself in jealousy is not a cakewalk. But what if this work IS worth it? I worked through it all and it was messy. Often I’d falter and was reminded I’m human and it’s normal to not do this perfectly. I’d feel strong and then be hit by that freight train.
FINDING JOY
My healing took some hard work, I was in the trenches with all the negative thoughts that caused my suffering. Eventually, joy found its way in to my life, little by little. I made it through to the other side with the help of great coaching and my life went from monotone to full color. Now, as I work with my clients, holding space for their pain, I remind them that their strength is in being messy. They are the courageous ones for embarking on a healing journey that I know all too well is daunting. I’ve been where you are and you too can do hard things. Healing is an amazing journey, but you don’t have to do it alone. I can walk with you, hold space when you need it and push you to do the hard work when you forget that you are amazing. Let’s begin your healing journey.
I am the coach to get you there.
